Oh god, poor Rosemary!

I…can’t believe this.  I’m offended, angry, and–I’ll be honest, a little amused–at the fact that this stuff is even in EXISTENCE on the internet, in the news, or what-have-you.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review published a lovely article on Sunday entitled “Don’t let your kids grow up to be…” And although they did it in an obnoxious, flowery, almost story-weaving way, they finished the sentence.  Don’t let your kids grow up to be…  …vampyres.

Oh yes, that’s right.  The Pittsburgh masses have a new problem on their hands with all the “fresh blood” coming into their “five major universities:” Vampyres.

Now, excuse the sarcasm, but this is just ridiculous.  I’m not going to quote the whole article, but please join me in reading this wonderful work of fiction woven by a nameless “journalist.”  Basically, he pulls at our heartstrings with the story of Rosemary, a small-town girl, wishing to feel beautiful and important in the midst of all the fast paced city-folk in Pittsburgh.  Well, luckily, she’s found by a debonair cult leader who “told her what she wanted to hear” and lured her into a “very militant, anti-social environmental group” called agitprop (a combinationf of “agitation” and “propaganda.”  Inevitabley, this lead to her breaking the law, and somehow getting pregnant.

But oh!  Thank god for Rosemary!  She ONLY broke the law and got pregnant!  At least she wasn’t recruited into a “vampyre family!”

Yes, that’s right my friends, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review would like to do its part by warning the worried parents of soon-to-be college students by letting them know of the dangered of “vampyre families” invading it’s schools.  They conveniently blame it on “raging hormones” and as an excuse to be “sexually active with one another but with no one outside the group — thus they believe there can be as much sexual activity as they can handle without fear of AIDS/HIV.”  There are rituals including the drinking of blood (OR cranberry juice, according to the article,) and better yet “photographs can make these sordid rituals and couplings look and feel excitingly exclusive.” And to top it all off, vampyres manipulate the “Rosemarys of the world” so that they “won’t return very quickly to a more normal society.”

What horror!   Vampyre families?!

…now excuse the sarcasm, but wow.  With all of the information available out there on modern day vampyres attempting to speak the truth, THIS is what newspapers are coming up with?  …If you read the article, it doesn’t even sound like a serious a serious piece of journalism.  There are no facts, quotes, statistics, anything, just a cleverly woven hypothetical and fictional heartstring tugger to instill fear into the hearts of worried parents whose worst fear is that their little Rosemary will be tainted.

I’m sorry, anonymous journalist, no offense–really.  If you were writing a short story, this would be fantastic…but–as a factual and informative piece of journalism, it’s lacking.  …Please stop writing about things you know nothing about.

Love always,

Abigail

P.S:  Readers, I hope I do not have to walk you through WHY this article is ridiculous…(for more information on why, please see–the rest of my blog.  <3)

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8 Comments

  1. I have one word—> unbelievable!

  2. But… but what about Rosemary’s baby!?

  3. i can say ive heard worse but it is still very offensive.wouldnt it be nice if a few respectable journalists would care more about getting the truth than bumping up their reputations by telling fictional stories to amuse the public. many people actualy believe what they say, my own sister included.

  4. It is sad to say that most people do not care about facts, or about anything close to the truth of the mass. Most vampyres are still hidden. They are not in cults or covens, or anything of the sort. I have done research I know that most of these “vampire covens” or cults don’t even have anything more then a bunch of people who just aspire to be like the Hollywood vamp. It is because of this stereotype that most don’t believe that a vampyre is anything more then a delusional individual. It is for this reason that I am mostly in hiding.

  5. Oh, geez. Really, now? It’s getting more and more pathetic EVERY DAY. Rosemary? What a hilarious name. Only the media would come up with some lame-***ed story like that. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the name Rosemary. It’s a pretty name. But it just sounds all too…fake. The media is getting desperate, I tell you…!

  6. My lord!
    that is one of the biggest pieces or rubbish I’ve read in months!
    that is disgusting
    I mean, yeah I know there are some weird “cults” like that, we have one around my home town (gross right?)
    But to generalize ALL vamps with that?
    and to say that those “cults” are worse then the shit that the fake-ass chick in the story got into, thats terrible
    I think a cranberry juice infused orgy is a lot better than breaking the law and getting pregnant like that.
    Jesus, people these days
    Well my “rant” is over
    With Regards
    Nuge

  7. I do not know why they did that. That is just wrong. But stuff like that happens. I feel great that I am a vampire.

    New comer to American clan.

    Drake

  8. The hell!! That does outrage me, as much as I’m not vampyre, it would be offensive to even hear about that! I mean, this guy obiously hasn’t meet a vampyre before, like, wat could POSSIBLY be worse than breaking the law and becoming pregnant? Being in a vampyre “cult” of course! (sarcastically)


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